Nightmares...

Have you ever had a terrible night's sleep...because of what you were dreaming.  Last night, despite my efforts to think of anything else, I dreamt about the most awful and hurtful things, all night long.  It was the kind of sleep that you beg to wake up from so you can escape it, but even after being awake, and you realize it was just a dream...you still can't quite shake the emotions you were feeling.  And then, you're left feeling upset and wondering why in the crap did you just dream about all of that anyway.  Because there must be a reason right?  I'm sure it has something to do with feelings of insecurity and a loss of control, because lets be honest, I've felt both of those a time or two over the past several crazy years of my life.

I got a phone call from work this morning about 4 a.m. telling me to come into work at 10 a.m. instead of at 6 this morning.  I was grateful to be woken up, but relieved I would be able to go back to sleep since I felt exhausted from not sleeping well all night.  But it didn't mater, no matter how many times I tried to go back to sleep the dream continued...so here I am.  Blogging, at 6:30 a.m.  hoping to get all those negative feelings out so I can go about my day not feeling all choked up and upset inside. 

It amazes me how much of an effect dreaming can have on a person...or am I just crazy? 

It is moments like these that I am especially thankful for the power of prayer, and a loving Heavenly Father who knows what it is I am struggling with personally, without me having to describe every detail or thought.  He just knows. 

"I am led to believe that our Heavenly Father loves us so much that the things that are important to us become important to Him, just because he loves us...Please believe how very much your loving Heavenly Father wants to bless you, but we must ask for His help.  This is generally done through prayer.  Prayer is one of the most precious gifts of God to man."  -Elder J. Devn Cornish of the Seventy (The Privilege of Prayer)

Poison & Wine

"Poison & Wine"  By the Civil Wars

You only know what I want you to
I know everything you don't want me to
Oh your mouth is poison, your mouth is wine
You think your dreams are the same as mine
Oh I don't love you but I always will
Oh I don't love you but I always will
Oh I don't love you but I always will
I always will

I wish you'd hold me when I turn my back
The less I give the more I get back
Oh your hands can heal, your hands can bruise
I don't have a choice but I'd still choose you

Oh I don't love you but I always will

Oh I don't love you but I always will

Oh I don't love you but I always will

Oh I don't love you but I always will

Oh I don't love you but I always will

Oh I don't love you but I always will

Oh I don't love you but I always will

 

I always will

I always will

I always will

I always will

I always will