Valentines Day

One of the hardest things when I first became engaged and was married to Jarom, was feeling guilty for being so happy and in love, when my sweet Mom, who next to Jarom is my best and closest friend and confidant, was hurting, and feeling so alone because of the choices her once sweetheart chose to make.

As time has passed, our hearts have slowly been able to heal.  Days like Valentine's Day, or Anniversaries have become a little less hard, but what my Jarom did yesterday, and what he does everyday, brings me more joy and means more to me than he'll ever know. 
Although Jarom knows he is my important person, he realizes and understands that my Mom is one of my important persons too.  Jarom is the reason I have been able to survive and cope with feeling the void of my Father, feelings of anger, abandonment, confusion, and dissappointment, a hurting mother, and all of the concern and worry on behalf of my family.

This Valentine's Day was a special one to me, and it wasn't because the husband and I both had the day off of work to spend a lot of time together...because we both worked long days and late, and it wasn't because it was very expensive or grand, because we are trying to save our pennies, and it wasn't because of the flowers Jarom bought me, or the delicious meal he made, or the chocolate covered strawberries he dipped for dessert, the candy and treats, or the rose petal flowers he put on our bed (although I did love all of those things, thanks hunny!), it was because he showed me how to love and serve others and reminded me what was most important.  He made what was important to me, important to him. 

We worry about loved ones for many different reasons, but we especially worry about them being hurt, sad, in pain, or discouraged.  So not only did Jarom make me feel loved, and important yesterday, but he thought about my sweet Mom, and made her feel important as well.  He wasn't overly concerned about making sure our dinner was full of romance, but of chivalry and unselfishness.  He chatted with my Mom to make sure her day was going ok, and was there for her when I was stuck working late at work.  He bought her flowers, and her favorite chocolates, to let her know he was thinking about her, and that he appreciates her, and he invited her to dinner that he had ready for me when I got home from work.  It was a perfect day in my eyes.

I realize I am a lucky woman when I say that I have the pleasure of hearing "I love you" from my sweet husband more than a dozen times each and every day.  The way Jarom says it, helps me to know that it's not just a word that is thrown around or used casually, but a word full of meaning and trust.

I always thought Valentine's Day was supposed to be this great day, full of love, and romance (just like you see in the movies), but I was reminded and shown that we don't need a specific day to have those things.  I'm grateful that Jarom made it a great day. I'm grateful for what he did for my cute Mom, and that he has been so supportive of our decision to move closer to home and to be here for our family.  I'm grateful to him for putting up Christmas lights, repairing the family vehicles, moving the lawn, fixing sinks and light bulbs, and for stepping up since we've been married to help my Mom and to make sure that she and my family are taken care of.

And I'm grateful that Jarom makes me feel loved and special everyday, and not just on Valentine's Day.

And don't you worry, there was some romance for the two of us...  ;)

Hope everyone had a happy Valentine's Day with those they love!

"When I get home I'm gonna scrub this place like it's a crime scene, which it is because you murdered joy"

I don't even know where to begin....I'm so behind, so here's a quick catch up.

• Christmas was slightly lame.  I was sick with the flu and in bed most of the day. I did make it to church (which was my favorite part, I loved having church on Christmas Day) and through most of opening presents before throwing up, and my husband took good care of me.  Turns out my family was able to have a fun time without me. Who knew....Just Dance 3 anyone?

 Isn't my Mom the best...she would kill me if she knew I put this on here!
"Oh I just ripped my shirt off...!"  ha ha, makes me laugh everytime.

• Jayden left for his mission to Canada and has been in Canada for about 3 weeks now. Side note: Jarom had to work so he wasn't able to do the drive by drop off at the MTC, therefore he is not in any of the pictures.  Jayden says it rains every day, he's met a hoarder, true TLC style. Bathrooms are called washrooms, and tator tots are called potatoe puffs.  Oh Canada....

• Jarom bought me my very first legitimate phone, and I'm proud to say I'm officially an iphone owner.  I heart my iphone.  It's changed my life.
• Jarom turned 27.
• Jarom also spoiled me with my first gun, a 22 Ruger Pistol.  I love it. 

• I joined pinterest.  I have since been dying to redo our master bedroom, which I have started.  I also have become addicted to cooking and baking and have been trying new recipies at least several days a week.  My husband isn't complaining. Who knew cooking could be fun!
• Jarom was sick on New Years Eve, we both were in bed by 8 o'clock.  Sleeping. Nothing exciting there.
• For Christmas we asked for Emergency Prepardness stuff, so I'm working on putting together some 72 hour kits, first aid kits, and we are working on our food storage. 
• Jarom was called to be the Young Men's secretary. We are still teaching the 12-13 year old sunday school class together.  
• We took a few trips to Hurricane as often as we could.  Kelly was baptized, and Bridger and Calum had their 1st birthdays!

• Went to the gun show last weekend. Bought some new sheets for our Master bedroom makeover while we were there...random.  I know.
• I had an eye appointment because I thought I might need surgery on my eye, but turns out not yet...we will wait and see.  In the mean time I'm going to try contacts.
• I've been thinking about going back to school for my Masters...but I've done just that and only that...thought about it. If only school wasn't so expensive.
• Jacie had Jr. Prom ( I loved her dress, it was so different than mine) and State Drill. (Isn't Jacie's face awesome....front. row, right side)

• We had a date night at Nickel Mania with some friends and had so much fun, we've already been back again.  I never knew I was so good at video games.  The Men weren't as thrilled as I was about my new found talent.  I feel bad now, because I made fun of the people who went there frequently, but it's cheap, insanely fun, and those prizes are legit.  I will judge no more.

And that's all I have for now...stay classy.

Wingsuit what now?

My husband has lost it!  The past few days he has developed a facination/obsession with wing suit base jumping.  Wing suit base jumping...what the *!#$&*@)#!  That's exactly what I thought!  You have to watch this video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ttz5oPpF1Js

Because that doesn't look dangerous or terrifying at all...

So basically it consists of purchasing an extremely expensive wing suit (a.k.a squirrel or bird suit) that hopefully allows you to fly, and then jumping crazily off of an enormous cliff, while proceeding to fall to your death!  I'll pass.  I'm not sure what was funnier (is that even a word), the fact that my husband thought I would let him do it, of the fact he turned to me and asked if I would do it with him...what are you nuts!  No thanks, not a chance!  Not sure what my husbands deal is with flying, but I assure you he'll be sticking to airplanes.  I'm such a mean wife...

Family pictures and a new church calling...

Christmas is almost here!   I'm so excited!  It's starting to feel very Christmasy at our house.  I love having a fireplace this year, not only for the fire, but to hang the stockings from.  It is a must.  Jarom and I got our real Christmas tree again this year, I've decided it's the only way to go. (I  have loved starting our own family traditions. Last year and this coming year we plan to have our own Christmas morning together before getting together with our families.  I really enjoyed that last year, just the two of us.  It's been a fun memory of mine of our own "little family."

Back to the tree...I love walking into a pine smelling home.  I'm also going to put in another plug real quick about how amazing my new found love the candle "leaves" is from Bath and Body Works.  Put the two together and it's like heaven. (I wish I could enter a smell here...wouldn't that be fantastic). I love the Pandora Christmas Station, it has been playing reguarly. And, I'm almost done with my Christmas shopping!  Yay!

Jarom recieved a new calling in church to serve as Secretary in the Young Men's Presidency.  He's really excited that he'll be involved with the Young Men's Program and that he'll be able to teach and be more involved with Scouting.  He's also about to finish up another gruling semester, and is hoping to obtain his Multi-Engine Pilot certificate in between semesters.  We are shopping around to try to find the most affordable program.  It's only a 4-day program, but those things are not cheap!  Jarom's been working really hard so we could save up and pay cash for it.   I'm a proud wife :)

We recently had family pictures taken.  We have pictures back from the Brown family. I was pretty dissapointed with how most of them turned out, but I thought I would at least post one of the whole group and my cute nieces and nephews...

How lucky am I that I went from having 0 nieces and nephews to 9 within a year or so...?  Aren't they the cutest!  It's crazy to me how different each of their personalities are, but I love having these cute kids to love. 

And lastly, I realize I may be biased, but Jarom is so great.  Typically Men leave it to their wives to sign up for things at church, or service opportunities, but not Jarom.  A few months ago we had a ward chili cook-off, (Yay!) and Jarom, knowing I would be working that day and wouldn't be able to go, signed up not only to attend with my sweet Mom, but signed up to make and bring one of our favorite salads.  Cute right?  Then for Thanksgiving he signed up for the food drive to donate certain food items, and for Chirstmas he grabbed an ornament for Sub-for-Santa...He is such a great example to me, and is always quick to think of others.

When we lived in Pleasant Grove, we had a Stake President talk to us about paying Fast Offerings and giving service.  He taught us that paying our fast offerings should be a true sacrafice, and challenged each of us to double what we had been paying for our fast offereings in order to help all of those in need.  He promised if we did, not only would our faith be increased, but our blessings would be significantly multiplied.  I hadn't had much experience personally paying fast offereings, and I remember feeling hesitant knowing how tight things already were, and that what he was asking was a "hard" thing, but Jarom was immediately onboard.   He offered a suggestion as to what we should pay, and ever since then every month as I write the check he  just smiles and asks me "Is it a sacrafice?"  Since then, my testimony of paying tithing and fast offerings has grown tremendously and with Jarom's help I now know that it's not so much about how much we pay, but about the principle and our willingness to obey.  All in all, it has been some great advice and a great blessing in our lives and in our marriage and I'm grateful everyday for Jarom's example...

Nightmares...

Have you ever had a terrible night's sleep...because of what you were dreaming.  Last night, despite my efforts to think of anything else, I dreamt about the most awful and hurtful things, all night long.  It was the kind of sleep that you beg to wake up from so you can escape it, but even after being awake, and you realize it was just a dream...you still can't quite shake the emotions you were feeling.  And then, you're left feeling upset and wondering why in the crap did you just dream about all of that anyway.  Because there must be a reason right?  I'm sure it has something to do with feelings of insecurity and a loss of control, because lets be honest, I've felt both of those a time or two over the past several crazy years of my life.

I got a phone call from work this morning about 4 a.m. telling me to come into work at 10 a.m. instead of at 6 this morning.  I was grateful to be woken up, but relieved I would be able to go back to sleep since I felt exhausted from not sleeping well all night.  But it didn't mater, no matter how many times I tried to go back to sleep the dream continued...so here I am.  Blogging, at 6:30 a.m.  hoping to get all those negative feelings out so I can go about my day not feeling all choked up and upset inside. 

It amazes me how much of an effect dreaming can have on a person...or am I just crazy? 

It is moments like these that I am especially thankful for the power of prayer, and a loving Heavenly Father who knows what it is I am struggling with personally, without me having to describe every detail or thought.  He just knows. 

"I am led to believe that our Heavenly Father loves us so much that the things that are important to us become important to Him, just because he loves us...Please believe how very much your loving Heavenly Father wants to bless you, but we must ask for His help.  This is generally done through prayer.  Prayer is one of the most precious gifts of God to man."  -Elder J. Devn Cornish of the Seventy (The Privilege of Prayer)

Poison & Wine

"Poison & Wine"  By the Civil Wars

You only know what I want you to
I know everything you don't want me to
Oh your mouth is poison, your mouth is wine
You think your dreams are the same as mine
Oh I don't love you but I always will
Oh I don't love you but I always will
Oh I don't love you but I always will
I always will

I wish you'd hold me when I turn my back
The less I give the more I get back
Oh your hands can heal, your hands can bruise
I don't have a choice but I'd still choose you

Oh I don't love you but I always will

Oh I don't love you but I always will

Oh I don't love you but I always will

Oh I don't love you but I always will

Oh I don't love you but I always will

Oh I don't love you but I always will

Oh I don't love you but I always will

 

I always will

I always will

I always will

I always will

I always will

Mission Call

Great news!  Jayden recieved his mission call on Wednesday!  He was called to the Vancouver Canada Mission, which is funny, because Jayden absolutely loves warm weather.  He keeps his bedroom at like 85 degrees, and I'm pretty sure it'll be cold in Canada, but I hear it's beautiful!  :)   His call came in the mail Wednesday afternoon and we had to wait until that night when everyone could get home. Jayden was so anxious, and couldn't get over the fact that whatever was typed after the "You have been called to serve in the..."  would determine where he would live for the next two years, and litterally change his life.  It never gets old to hear a missionary read that first paragraph...I'll have to post the little video we got.  It was pretty funny.  :)  All he kept saying was "like what do they eat there?  Bison?" lol.

His area is pretty big, and reaches as far North to border Alaska!  He leaves December 28th, (surprisingly soon!) We're just grateful he'll be with us for the holidays!  He'll be in the MTC for 3 weeks, and then off to Canada.  He's really excited and can't wait to say "eh" all the time ha ha.  I just love my kid brother...  He's the best, and I'm totally proud of him.  In the mean time I'll be searching with my mom for some crazy winter coats and lots of layers for the scrawny kid...