Nightmares...

Have you ever had a terrible night's sleep...because of what you were dreaming.  Last night, despite my efforts to think of anything else, I dreamt about the most awful and hurtful things, all night long.  It was the kind of sleep that you beg to wake up from so you can escape it, but even after being awake, and you realize it was just a dream...you still can't quite shake the emotions you were feeling.  And then, you're left feeling upset and wondering why in the crap did you just dream about all of that anyway.  Because there must be a reason right?  I'm sure it has something to do with feelings of insecurity and a loss of control, because lets be honest, I've felt both of those a time or two over the past several crazy years of my life.

I got a phone call from work this morning about 4 a.m. telling me to come into work at 10 a.m. instead of at 6 this morning.  I was grateful to be woken up, but relieved I would be able to go back to sleep since I felt exhausted from not sleeping well all night.  But it didn't mater, no matter how many times I tried to go back to sleep the dream continued...so here I am.  Blogging, at 6:30 a.m.  hoping to get all those negative feelings out so I can go about my day not feeling all choked up and upset inside. 

It amazes me how much of an effect dreaming can have on a person...or am I just crazy? 

It is moments like these that I am especially thankful for the power of prayer, and a loving Heavenly Father who knows what it is I am struggling with personally, without me having to describe every detail or thought.  He just knows. 

"I am led to believe that our Heavenly Father loves us so much that the things that are important to us become important to Him, just because he loves us...Please believe how very much your loving Heavenly Father wants to bless you, but we must ask for His help.  This is generally done through prayer.  Prayer is one of the most precious gifts of God to man."  -Elder J. Devn Cornish of the Seventy (The Privilege of Prayer)

Poison & Wine

"Poison & Wine"  By the Civil Wars

You only know what I want you to
I know everything you don't want me to
Oh your mouth is poison, your mouth is wine
You think your dreams are the same as mine
Oh I don't love you but I always will
Oh I don't love you but I always will
Oh I don't love you but I always will
I always will

I wish you'd hold me when I turn my back
The less I give the more I get back
Oh your hands can heal, your hands can bruise
I don't have a choice but I'd still choose you

Oh I don't love you but I always will

Oh I don't love you but I always will

Oh I don't love you but I always will

Oh I don't love you but I always will

Oh I don't love you but I always will

Oh I don't love you but I always will

Oh I don't love you but I always will

 

I always will

I always will

I always will

I always will

I always will

Mission Call

Great news!  Jayden recieved his mission call on Wednesday!  He was called to the Vancouver Canada Mission, which is funny, because Jayden absolutely loves warm weather.  He keeps his bedroom at like 85 degrees, and I'm pretty sure it'll be cold in Canada, but I hear it's beautiful!  :)   His call came in the mail Wednesday afternoon and we had to wait until that night when everyone could get home. Jayden was so anxious, and couldn't get over the fact that whatever was typed after the "You have been called to serve in the..."  would determine where he would live for the next two years, and litterally change his life.  It never gets old to hear a missionary read that first paragraph...I'll have to post the little video we got.  It was pretty funny.  :)  All he kept saying was "like what do they eat there?  Bison?" lol.

His area is pretty big, and reaches as far North to border Alaska!  He leaves December 28th, (surprisingly soon!) We're just grateful he'll be with us for the holidays!  He'll be in the MTC for 3 weeks, and then off to Canada.  He's really excited and can't wait to say "eh" all the time ha ha.  I just love my kid brother...  He's the best, and I'm totally proud of him.  In the mean time I'll be searching with my mom for some crazy winter coats and lots of layers for the scrawny kid...

Park City

For our most recent date night, Jarom and I took a drive through the canyon and into Park City.  I wasn't quite sure where we were going, (I'm not 100% convinced that Jarom did either), but he insisted on going for a drive and that's where we ended up.  The leaves were amazing. I was glad we went, I was worried I wouldn't get the chance to see the leaves change before winter came.  I didn't get any pictures, wife fail....but hopefully one day when I get a nice smart phone, it'll have an amazing camera attached to it so I will always have it with me ;)  cough, cough.  Jarom and I drove up and down the Main Street looking at all the cute houses.  I love the quaint little houses up in Park City with the wood doors, and earth tone colors, some cabin style...if I wouldn't have to worry about the snow and commuting in it I would live there forever...maybe we'll retire in the woods one day ;)   We stopped at a few art galleries that were open on Main Street.  Jarom especially loves looking at the photography because so many of the photographs are taken in Zion National Park, and other famous nearby areas that Jarom can relate to since he grew up in Southern Utah.  This one photographer used all natural lighting, and his photographs were not edited.  They were amazing...some photos sold for up to $98,000 dollars!  Can you imagine...I about died.  After looking through some shops and stopping by Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory for my all time favorite chocolate dipped pretzels and a toffee carmel apple, we headed over to the Outlet Mall for some shopping which is always my favorite...not so much Jaroms, but he was a good sport.  We ate dinner at Ruby Tuesdays...their white cheddar mashed potatoes were to die for, and Jar ordered a blackberry lemonade which was a first, but it was so delicous!  I love going out, we had a great time.  I think having no plan and just going, makes for some of the best nights, (which is huge coming from me, since I'm such a crazy planner all of the time). Somedays I really stop and think how crazy different Jarom and I are, but it works, and I love it!

I love that fall is here...Nothing screams fall more than the color of changing leaves, having the fireplace on, smell good stuff, and great harvest bread (expensive, but so worth it, just had to throw that in there)  :)  I'm pretty sure I have zero decorations for this time of year, and so, on my list of things to do today is to stop by JoAnn's for what will hopefully be a good find, and on sale of course.  My fingers are crossed.  We need some pumpkins for the front porch too!  I also recently discovered a new love of mine, the "Leaves" scented candle at Bath and Body Works.  It is seriously amazing...try it, you will love it and trust me, you'll thank me later....

Dancing

Last week, Jarom told me he had a surprise for me that I had to wait until friday for.  For those of you that know me, I'm terrible with surprises...I was on him all day about it and wouldn't let it go, but he never caved, the good man.  Friday came, and by some miracle, I had forgotten entirely about it.  He told me to get dressed and that we were going out and he drove me out to west valley ish to a church (scary right), and then I realized what we were doing.  Jarom's Aunt and Uncle have invited us before to some dance lessons that they teach but I had never really pushed going because I didn' think Jarom would be into it, and instead he found out all about and surprised me.  Husband points! We were terrible, but we had so much fun.  This week we took on the Waltz, and Swing dancing.  We gave it an honest attempt, lol.  Also, I'm pretty sure I am the worst at following someone elses lead, and I am grateful for a husband who refuses to let me wear the pants because lets be honest, if he would allow it, I totally would.  Moral of the story, I'm glad I married me a man's man...becaues I'm a stubborn little thing, and who doesn't enjoy being taken care of?  I wish I would have gotten some pictures, I'm pretty sure we were definetly the youngest couple there.  But, if any of you are dying to have some free dance lessons let me know...It's the first Friday of every month, and it is definetly a good time....  :)

The Money Class

For my birthday back in April, Jarom bought me this book called "The Money Class" by Suze Orman.  I grew up listening to Suze Orman with my Mom and have grown to love her blatant honesty and advice when it comes down to what you can and cannot afford. With that being said, I was really anxious to get her new book, set some financial goals, and to educate myself.  Since then, I have been reading a little at a time, and have been setting some goals and making adjustments to our budget here and there.  The book starts out talking about defining yourself by who you are, not what you have.  I think this is particuarlly challenging for newlyweds who have grown up with a particular lifestyle and then expect a similar lifestyle "have what our parents have" mentality just shortly after being married.  It has been an adjustment, but it has been so much more rewarding to stick to our goals, be patient, and save up for a particular item when in reality we could have ran out and bought it right then if we had cut corners, cheated our budget, put it on the credit card or used our emergency savings.  Suze Orman also offers great advice on:


*Having an 8 month emergency savings fund
*Saving for big ticket items
*Retirment planning in your 20's and 30's
*Applying 15% of your total income towards retirement- starting now!
*401k's and Roth IRA's
*Maximizing employment benefits
*When to Own vs. Rent
*The rules of buying a new home (20% down, or you can't afford it)
*Student loans/repayment
*Everything you need to know about your credit score
*Investing
*The rules of using a debit card
*Living below your means
And it goes on and on...

You're probably thinking I am such a nerd, but I have really enjoyed learning more about financial freedom.  Don't get me wrong, I know all of these things may not be totally realistic, and are perhaps an ideal situation, but it gives you a basis to plan and work towards.  I realize we probably won't be able to put 20% down on a home when we are ready to buy, but by making it our goal, we'll probably have much more than we would have if we hadn't set the goal.  We may have to wait quite a bit longer than we would like to, but in the end it will be worth it.  My parents have been a great example to me and because they established good habits early on and lived below their means, they have been able to avoid debt and provide us (their kids) with a financially stable childhood/ and future for my siblings.  I want that for Jarom and I, and for our family.  Especially because of our large amounts of school loan debt.  I've learned it's not just going to go away, and that you have to take control of it, rather than let it take control of you.  :)   Wow, if that wasn't cheesball I don't know what is...

Also, I've really taken to heart the advice and counsel we've been given from our sweet Prophet, his Apostles, and our church leaders to work on our food storage supply.   I'm proud to say we are making improvements, despite our lack of storage space.  Before it seemed so overwhelming, but I'm actually really enjoying it, a little at a time.  I'm all signed up for the cannery this coming weekend...first-timer!  Should be a good time...

And to wrap it up, some insite from President Thomas S. Monson

"May I assure you, there is no shame in a couple having to scrimp and save. It is generally during these challenging times that you will grow closer together as you learn to sacrafice and to make difficult decisions."

Changes...

Jarom started a new part-time job this week.  He's working at Million Air, which is a fixed based operation out at the airport where private planes and jets fly into.  I'm so excited for him.  Jarom was so patient and prayerful about finding a job.  He was having a rather difficult time, particuarlly with the economy and unemployment rate the way it was/is.  After a long search with no success, Jarom and I talked and prayed about him working and we decided it was more important for him to focus on his classes and get his degree done as quickly as possible.  It wasn't always easy, and was at times stressful, but we felt grateful to be in a position where Jarom wouldn't have to work.  Since then, Jarom has been juggling 18-22 credits a semester and has been doing really well. 

Fast forward 3 semesters....After taking a break from the job search, Jarom really wanted to start looking again and felt working part-time would help break up all of his school work.  I didn't want him to take on too much or get stuck with a job that he wouldn't enjoy, but his school schedule ended up being quite flexible this semester and this more than perfect job fell into his lap!  I know everything happens for a reason, and I truly feel this has been the best thing for us. I think where we would be if Jarom would have worked full-time but continued to take 9-10 credits a semester. We probably would have a little extra money in our pockets, a new washer and dryer (since ours continue to struggle), or a nice little vaca, but who knows how many more years of school!  I wouldn't go back and change a thing.  I know we just neded to be patient and have some faith.  Jarom has now been able to complete his degree much more quickly than we had anticipated, and he has this perfect temporary job until he can graduate with his Bachelors Degree next April. 

He won't be flying just yet, but he'll get to park and direct the aircrafts, get the planes ready to go, and escort the pilots around.  We are hoping he can make some great contacts, get some information, and maybe even find a less expensive way to get his multiengine certificate, let alone have some fun!  :)

I have the best husband ever!  I just love him, and am totally proud of him.  He's been working so hard.  I'm a lucky woman...